My revision plan

Some of the changes i am planning on making in my paper are. To introduce a sub thesis concerning the issue of higher expectations at BYU and how common courtesy is one of the small things needed here. Another thing, is clarifying some of my anecdotes and description, so as not to confuse the reader. Finally, i think i am going to have to have people read it and see if the order of stories is climatic or if i should perhaps move things around