2. Answer the question, 'so what?' I made points and examples, but try to give reasons why they relate to the thesis statement.
3. Add sentences that connect the paper.
4. Answer the thesis statement after every paragraph, to try and guide the reader to my main point. Focus your main point, that video games are not as detrimental as they are seen.
5. Change the footnotes to actual citations.
6. The 'Social Rules' section needs to be fixed up to fix with the context of the paper or cut out or replaced
7. Improper quoting! Get thereal meaning from the quote
8. Back up the claims made
9. Make sure that the reader know what you are arguing, focus the reader to the pros and cons of social computer gaming.
This paper is harder than it sounded. I find that I have all the same problems that you do. I guess I will be writing a lot this weekend!!! UGH
ReplyDeleteAgreed. This writing style is completely different from the other two. This one this so many things into account. I guess the trick is just reading it aloud to yourself or have someone else read to see if it makes sense.
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