Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I'm going to revise sooo much you have no idea
Well, after conferencing with Sister Cowley, I've decided on the main things that I need to work on. My first two paragraphs are apparently really terrible, so I'm going to need to change them completely. I was told, by more than one person, that my introduction was too lengthy. So, I'm going to shorten my introduction, making my main points clear and concise. All of my paragraphs are really long too (I think each paragraph is around one page), so I'm goingg have to reconstruct my paragraphs. I've also come across new sources that I would like to include in my paper. I'm really excited to revise my paper!
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You could try a different style with the paragraphs that is not super conventional but I think is visually appealing and works to hold the reader's interest... it is to have paragraphs that are only about 3-4 sentences long. This will make your paper more like a newspaper article but as long as it flows nicely I would be interested in reading it!
ReplyDeleteJessie, I think that is a really good idea. I wouldn't have thought of that. Be really careful doing that. I think it could really work well or backfire completely if you do it wrong. It could make it seem ess academic and you could lose some ethos.
ReplyDeletedang. I need to find new sources because sister cowley said that i was relying too heavily on one source. Although i sited nine others in my paper.
ReplyDeleteJosh...some of those comments sound very familiar :) Good luck with your paper!
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