Revision plan

I will sort out my thoughts, split them into their own paragraphs, shorten the paragraphs I already have, get things condensed into the more important aspects.

Revisions...

1. Reorganize my paper to help the flow of ideas and paragraphs

2. Talk to high school students (sisters and their friends) to see how their teachers use new media and use those examples in my paper

3. Find stronger quotations from articles to help my argument

4. re-write and take it back to Sister Cowley by Friday

5. Read out loud to somebody to fix errors and make sure my ideas flow and everything leads back to my thesis

Issues paper revision plan

This that I plan on doing-from top to bottom of the list.

1. Fix minor errors on puncuation and grammar

2.Develop and add information needed to what I have on multi-tasking.

3. Add new information to develop new areas of my topic.

4. Make sure that I have good transitional sentences and that my thesis is connected to throughout my paper.

5. Make sure that I get to the pages requirement.

6. Try to have all the above done before friday to show to Sister Cowley one last time

Plan for the paper for the rest of the week

Regarding my paper,

I will change the main source that I use to introduce my topic to something more scholarly than Wikipedia. Although Wikipedia is an interesting and often informative source, my paper is severely discredited by having it so abundantly cited in the beginning. I plan to spend a portion of my Wednesday evening working on this.

I need to incorporate and "deal with" the counter argument more. This shouldn't be too difficult because there is a lot of great evidence for the other side, I just need to spend time collecting it. This will happen on Thursday around 3 or 4 pm.

I need to edit grammar and I would like to vary sentences and make sure that things flow nicely with transitions but these changes can be made later, after content is adjusted. After I make these changes I will maybe take my paper to the writing center... after class on Friday around 9 am. I like to take things there so I can get a second opinion and see if my paper makes sense to someone who has not been a part of the major drafting process.

That's the plan.

Revising revising revising

I am going to have to do a lot of work on my paper. I have to find better statistics. Then I have to go through and make sure my argument makes sense. Then I have to go into more detail with some of my arguments. Then I am going to visit the writing center on Friday because i haven't done that yet this semester and this is basically the last paper. Hopefully they will be able to help me perfect my paper. or at least get close to perfect.

Issues Paper Revision Plans

1. Get to minimum page limit, add more content, there are still examples that haven't been put in.

2. Answer the question, 'so what?' I made points and examples, but try to give reasons why they relate to the thesis statement.

3. Add sentences that connect the paper.

4. Answer the thesis statement after every paragraph, to try and guide the reader to my main point. Focus your main point, that video games are not as detrimental as they are seen.

5. Change the footnotes to actual citations.

6. The 'Social Rules' section needs to be fixed up to fix with the context of the paper or cut out or replaced

7. Improper quoting! Get thereal meaning from the quote

8. Back up the claims made

9. Make sure that the reader know what you are arguing, focus the reader to the pros and cons of social computer gaming.

Revision Plan

My main points of revision are:
1. Refocus my audience so that it doesn't start out so narrow.
2. To get some more sources to help it all have more of a credited paper.
3. To work on making my paper have more of a scholarly feel rather than an opinion editorial feel.
I really think that with the revisions that I make, especially with the redirecting of my audience and making it more scholarly, this paper is going to get the point that I want across. I want to try and have all of my revisions done by this weekend so that I can just read over it and make minor changes as I find need for them.

Issues Paper Revision Plan

Most of my revision will be focused around my thesis, or maybe it's better to say that lack of a thesis. My thesis isn't very supported by the data I have. And after thinking about it, I will probably change the focus of my thesis. After doing that I will have to go through my paper and find ways to link all my data back to the new thesis. I also think I will need a couple more facts from studies instead of mostly examples. So basically I'm rewriting my entire paper. How's that for revision...
I have already gone to the writing center and they agree with my ideas for revision. I will have a couple friends read over my new paper before I turn it in.

Katie's Revision Plan

Write a plan for how you are going to revise your issues paper. This can include steps like visiting the writing center and peer conferencing. This can also include when you plan to work on it, and what aspects you will revise when. You probably also want to reflect on the 2 or 3 biggest, overall revisions you are going to work on in the paper and how you plan to do so.

I went to multiple sources for advice on how to improve my paper. First, I have started to make the changes that Sister Cowley suggested in our meeting, and then I'm going to start fixing the little things that were pointed out by a couple people who have read through. They are just minor grammatical or structuring errors.
The last major improvement that I have to make is the addition of a counterargument following the introduction. This will help me to answer some of the questions that a reader may have in reading my paper.
Otherwise, I'm very close to having my final product ready.

Revision Plan

After conferring with Sister Cowley, I have a few things to revise on my paper.

1) Fix a few wording issues to avoid confusion and strengthen my argument.

2) Make my paper a point last paper. Move my thesis to the end of my paper.

3) Name a solution or two to the issue of file sharing to clear up further confusion.

4) Lengthen my paper a little bit more.

With these revisions, my paper can be made stronger, more clear, more stylistic, and more organized. With the point last approach, my argument could work more effectively towards those who have a strong stance against file sharing.

Revision Plan

Here is my revision plan for my issue paper:

1. Fix the minor grammar and word problem

2. Find some more legitimate sources instead of many quotes from one source.

3. Change some of my personal experiences to more analysis instead of story tone

Those are the the main things I am going to work on. Having peer reviews by two people and meeting with Sister Cowley really helped! I am definitely going to go to the writing center... definitely :) I am going to read my paper out loud. I am going to read it backwards too. Anything that helps me see my writing in a new light helps me better it.

That's my plan. :) I am hoping to get a little bit done each day, instead of all at one time.

Revision Plan #3

In this revision plan, I plan to do these things:
- I have to add more ethos, so my paper can be more creditable
- By adding more ethos, I mean the sources I found for my topic
- My paragraphs are too long, so I'm going to separate the long paragraphs and make them short paragraphs ( it will be more manageable for my readers)
- Have people read my paper, and evaluate it
- Also plan to meet up with Sister Cowley to make some last changes.
- I really want to finish everything before Friday!

Revision Plan #2

For this revision plan I am going to:

1.Be more specific with my examples.

2.Add a video

3.Add more pictures

4.Try to make my paper at least more than thousand words.

5.See Sister Cowley and have her revise my paper again.

6.Add a personal reflection

Here we go again...

Ok so I feel like these revisions might be a little easier, mostly because the blog I have is really entertaining, but one way or a another I have to fix some stuff.

1. Organize, organize, organize....I feel like I have a lot of great ideas and examples, but I just need to figure out the best way to make them flow.

2. Think of my audience. There is a lot of content I can use to explain rhetoric, and there are a lot of ways I can prove my point, but that doesn't mean they are all right or entertaining to read.

3. Plug and chug. I need to be better at the placement of examples and things I want to use, I can't just throw stuff in there and expect it to work.

4. Make it enjoyable, whether it be me adding more, taking some out, or just changing the majority of it, I just need to make this paper more fun to read!

I guess we will find out what else I need to do once we have our sweet meeting :)

So I cried during the peer review conference...

I guess I have a lot to work on for my final draft. I wasn't really satisfied with my rough draft because I just put it all together sloppily. That being said I already have a good idea on how I'm going to change my piece of writing to make it look super amazing on this blog.

I plan on masterfully placing pictures in my blog to complement my equally masterful writing. I'm also just hyping my final product up so prepare to be disappointed. Sister Cowley said that my analysis should go a bit deeper, so I will definitely be doing some sort of pondering in a small shack in the mountains this weekend. If not I will do something of the sort.

So, the main things I have to work on are restructuring my paper to make it as fluid as possible to read, utilizing pictures to its maximum potential, and develop a stronger insight and analysis on my article. This is exciting!

New eyes, metaphorically speaking

To revise my rhetorical analysis I am going to add, add, add. This means pictures, words, insight, description, possibly humor (I wouldn't count on it though). Haha. I am going to use screen shots from the website to give visual stimulation and bring light to what I am describing in the analysis. I will expound on certain topics brought up which need to make more sense to the reader, particularly those who have not seen the Stardust website before and happen to read my analysis.

Revisions Revisions Revisions

I am going to talk about my audience throughout the paper, rather than just at the beginning. I am going to also figure out how to put a picture in the middle of my paper and change to formatting (font and spacing). I am also going to include the fact that I am LDS and part of the targeted audience. I am also going to rework some of my phrasing. I will do this sometime before the due date on Wednesday.

Revision Draft

I am going to add more about the logic. I am also going to goto the writing center after I write a new draft. This will hopefully make my paper the best it can be.

Making the IOC a laughing matter: REVISION PLAN

Most of what I need to do is formatting. Make things look nicer and less intimidating. I also need to solidify who my audience is and unify the tone I use throughout the whole thing. I have a few ideas for the formatting: dispersing images throughout the article, breaking up the text; using quotes indented in, almost like an image, so that my text can be more focused on just analysis; and I might use headings for different sections to break it up a little bit more. I think my analysis is more or less ready, just needs to be polished and more organized.

Revision Plan 2

I plan to rework my rhetorical analysis on my own first, by developing my paragraphs and adding transitions. I need to include more photos and make sure that they show up on this blog. After having perfected my piece, I plan to take it to the writing center at 10:00 am on Monday to see what the people there have to say about it. I would like my analysis to be creative, as a reflection of the work which it discusses, so I will work on the formatting and flow of my paper. I think I will try to make it read like a recipe. I've got a long way to go with it, but definitely some great ideas for the final draft!