Revision plan

I will sort out my thoughts, split them into their own paragraphs, shorten the paragraphs I already have, get things condensed into the more important aspects.

Revisions...

1. Reorganize my paper to help the flow of ideas and paragraphs

2. Talk to high school students (sisters and their friends) to see how their teachers use new media and use those examples in my paper

3. Find stronger quotations from articles to help my argument

4. re-write and take it back to Sister Cowley by Friday

5. Read out loud to somebody to fix errors and make sure my ideas flow and everything leads back to my thesis

Issues paper revision plan

This that I plan on doing-from top to bottom of the list.

1. Fix minor errors on puncuation and grammar

2.Develop and add information needed to what I have on multi-tasking.

3. Add new information to develop new areas of my topic.

4. Make sure that I have good transitional sentences and that my thesis is connected to throughout my paper.

5. Make sure that I get to the pages requirement.

6. Try to have all the above done before friday to show to Sister Cowley one last time

Revising my Issues Paper

I am pretty pleased with where I am on my paper right now. I need to go to the writing center to get help with citing my sources. I've already started working on the things Sister Cowley and I talked about (procratinating starting my American Heritage paper). I am worried about length. My paper is already a full 11 pages and there is still another section that Sister Cowley and I agree needs more information. I may actually have to cut some information from my paper. I think I picked too broad a subject.

I'm going to revise sooo much you have no idea

Well, after conferencing with Sister Cowley, I've decided on the main things that I need to work on. My first two paragraphs are apparently really terrible, so I'm going to need to change them completely. I was told, by more than one person, that my introduction was too lengthy. So, I'm going to shorten my introduction, making my main points clear and concise. All of my paragraphs are really long too (I think each paragraph is around one page), so I'm goingg have to reconstruct my paragraphs. I've also come across new sources that I would like to include in my paper. I'm really excited to revise my paper!

Plan for the paper for the rest of the week

Regarding my paper,

I will change the main source that I use to introduce my topic to something more scholarly than Wikipedia. Although Wikipedia is an interesting and often informative source, my paper is severely discredited by having it so abundantly cited in the beginning. I plan to spend a portion of my Wednesday evening working on this.

I need to incorporate and "deal with" the counter argument more. This shouldn't be too difficult because there is a lot of great evidence for the other side, I just need to spend time collecting it. This will happen on Thursday around 3 or 4 pm.

I need to edit grammar and I would like to vary sentences and make sure that things flow nicely with transitions but these changes can be made later, after content is adjusted. After I make these changes I will maybe take my paper to the writing center... after class on Friday around 9 am. I like to take things there so I can get a second opinion and see if my paper makes sense to someone who has not been a part of the major drafting process.

That's the plan.

censor new media, or censor my paper?

For my revision plan I am hoping to:
1. Double check my resources, make sure they are relevant and flow within my paper
2. Work on citations
3. Check the flow of my paper, make it flow better
4. Address any counter arguments
5. Meet with the writing center
6. work on connecting my thoughts and the sources back to my thesis and support my argument better

Basically, I need to make my paper rockin...

Revising revising revising

I am going to have to do a lot of work on my paper. I have to find better statistics. Then I have to go through and make sure my argument makes sense. Then I have to go into more detail with some of my arguments. Then I am going to visit the writing center on Friday because i haven't done that yet this semester and this is basically the last paper. Hopefully they will be able to help me perfect my paper. or at least get close to perfect.

Issues Paper Revision Plans

1. Get to minimum page limit, add more content, there are still examples that haven't been put in.

2. Answer the question, 'so what?' I made points and examples, but try to give reasons why they relate to the thesis statement.

3. Add sentences that connect the paper.

4. Answer the thesis statement after every paragraph, to try and guide the reader to my main point. Focus your main point, that video games are not as detrimental as they are seen.

5. Change the footnotes to actual citations.

6. The 'Social Rules' section needs to be fixed up to fix with the context of the paper or cut out or replaced

7. Improper quoting! Get thereal meaning from the quote

8. Back up the claims made

9. Make sure that the reader know what you are arguing, focus the reader to the pros and cons of social computer gaming.

Revision Plan

I am going to tie my paper together in a way that represents my argument.
I am going to deal with the counterarguments.
I am going to develop my thesis in a scholarly manner.

Revision Plan

My main points of revision are:
1. Refocus my audience so that it doesn't start out so narrow.
2. To get some more sources to help it all have more of a credited paper.
3. To work on making my paper have more of a scholarly feel rather than an opinion editorial feel.
I really think that with the revisions that I make, especially with the redirecting of my audience and making it more scholarly, this paper is going to get the point that I want across. I want to try and have all of my revisions done by this weekend so that I can just read over it and make minor changes as I find need for them.

Issues Paper Revision Plan

Most of my revision will be focused around my thesis, or maybe it's better to say that lack of a thesis. My thesis isn't very supported by the data I have. And after thinking about it, I will probably change the focus of my thesis. After doing that I will have to go through my paper and find ways to link all my data back to the new thesis. I also think I will need a couple more facts from studies instead of mostly examples. So basically I'm rewriting my entire paper. How's that for revision...
I have already gone to the writing center and they agree with my ideas for revision. I will have a couple friends read over my new paper before I turn it in.

Katie's Revision Plan

Write a plan for how you are going to revise your issues paper. This can include steps like visiting the writing center and peer conferencing. This can also include when you plan to work on it, and what aspects you will revise when. You probably also want to reflect on the 2 or 3 biggest, overall revisions you are going to work on in the paper and how you plan to do so.

I went to multiple sources for advice on how to improve my paper. First, I have started to make the changes that Sister Cowley suggested in our meeting, and then I'm going to start fixing the little things that were pointed out by a couple people who have read through. They are just minor grammatical or structuring errors.
The last major improvement that I have to make is the addition of a counterargument following the introduction. This will help me to answer some of the questions that a reader may have in reading my paper.
Otherwise, I'm very close to having my final product ready.

Revision Plan

After conferring with Sister Cowley, I have a few things to revise on my paper.

1) Fix a few wording issues to avoid confusion and strengthen my argument.

2) Make my paper a point last paper. Move my thesis to the end of my paper.

3) Name a solution or two to the issue of file sharing to clear up further confusion.

4) Lengthen my paper a little bit more.

With these revisions, my paper can be made stronger, more clear, more stylistic, and more organized. With the point last approach, my argument could work more effectively towards those who have a strong stance against file sharing.

Revision Plan Issues Paper

The biggest issue (hehe no pun intended....) I have with my paper is the organization of it. The flow of it doesn't really make sense. Following Sister Cowley's advice, I'm going to re-organize my paper. Some of the paragraphs don't really make sense where they are right now. But instead of getting rid of those paragraphs, I'm just going to put them in a different spot in my paper that will make better sense. Also, there is a paragraph where I compare tobacco ads to "getting active" ads. It isn't clear to my readers why I'm writing about tobacco. (I'm writing about obesity and new media) so I want to clarify my thinking behind that one.

Another problem right now is that I'm relying too heavily on one source. That source is from the Los Angeles Times, not the best source in an academic paper. However, it's good information. So I'm going to turn to other things the author references and see if I can get information from them instead of just from this article.

Revision Plan

Here is my revision plan for my issue paper:

1. Fix the minor grammar and word problem

2. Find some more legitimate sources instead of many quotes from one source.

3. Change some of my personal experiences to more analysis instead of story tone

Those are the the main things I am going to work on. Having peer reviews by two people and meeting with Sister Cowley really helped! I am definitely going to go to the writing center... definitely :) I am going to read my paper out loud. I am going to read it backwards too. Anything that helps me see my writing in a new light helps me better it.

That's my plan. :) I am hoping to get a little bit done each day, instead of all at one time.

Revision plan Issues paper

For my revision plan I am going to do three main things.
1. Go through and correct all of my cited works to right formant.
2. Make my argument more clear at the beginning and end of paper.
3. Make sure I am using the right tone and feeling of paper.

I will be rearanging around some of my paragraphs and adding titles to all of my main points. I really need to add signs posts to show where I am going and why I am going there. This will be done at the beginning of every paragraph.
Make sure that the whole paper makes sense to my audience and let them know the point of the paper and what they should do after reading it.

Revision Plan #3

In this revision plan, I plan to do these things:
- I have to add more ethos, so my paper can be more creditable
- By adding more ethos, I mean the sources I found for my topic
- My paragraphs are too long, so I'm going to separate the long paragraphs and make them short paragraphs ( it will be more manageable for my readers)
- Have people read my paper, and evaluate it
- Also plan to meet up with Sister Cowley to make some last changes.
- I really want to finish everything before Friday!

This is good stuff you have to read it!

Well I have a lot to get off my chest, and since all of my roommates were gaming I didn't get a chance to really share my thoughts with anyone.

The other day while I was on the bus, I had the fortunate experience of sitting next to a rather large man. This grand guy had the courtesy to rock out to his heavy metal music blasting at full volume. Not only that, but he was air drumming too! AND, as we left the bus, he started singing some of the lyrics! I think it went something along the lines of, DEATH DEATH DEATH... BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD, EAT RAW GOATS. Idk it was weird.

I'm not sure if it's unhealthy or not but I'm slowly getting into the habit of only sleeping every other day. Maybe if I wasn't such a deep sleeper and English didn't start at 8 I wouldn't be afraid to go to sleep at 3/4.

I started a blog of my own!! I have one post on it and it doesn't look so hot, but I think I'll work on it. It's called the Billy Zane Chronicles. Ever since that one line from Zoolander I've fallen in love with Billy Zane. It's such a cool name!

I got a haircut yesterday... I don't like it! It's too short and it exposes the recent acne on my forehead and makes it easier to notice how bushy my eyebrows are.

Last night I watched all my shows. It was wonderful. It's always Sunny, Top Chef, the League, Glee. WHOAAA GLEE WAS SO GOOD THIS WEEK AM I RIGHT?! Maybe I should have gone to see Wicked with my family when I had the chance...

Oh Oh, tomorrow I'm going to be tearin it up at the DanceSport competition. If you're taking 180 and you're going too, don't bother showing up.

I was supposed to do an interpretive dance for my ward's talent show with my roommate today. We were going to dance to a remix for the Dayman song from it's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. (Fun show but it's inappropriate. Don't watch it! But now he bailed because we didn't get the appropriate outfits. Soooo is anyone doing anything cool today?!?! 201 321 7829!!!

Introduction

Since the creation of the World Wide Web in 1989, the online “door” has been opened to vast amounts of information, new and improved technologies, and enhanced international communications. Today, approximately 104 million American adults have access to the Internet, (Eastin, Matthew S.) which has now become a source from which almost an infinite amount of knowledge can be gained. Along with these advances, however, have come consequences. For example, the availability of various forms of media (sound bites, videos, visuals, etc.) has paved the way for an unprecedented exchange of pornographic materials, and the expansion of communications has opened new avenues for underground criminal activities. Similarly, the accessibility of low or no cost online health care information has had its benefits, but has also proven to account for many overlooked consequences. One of the factors that make these effects so drastic is its unusually high frequency of usage. In fact, a 2006 survey found that around seven percent of Internet users would employ a health-related search on any given day, ranking the search for and access of online medical information equally with online bill-payment, blog-reading, and the acquisition of phone numbers or addresses (Fox, Susannah). This drastically extensive use of internet-based medical information and services has attributed to a rise in the misinformation of consumers, altered the patient-physician relationship, and negatively impacted clinical business due to its ease of accessibility and common lack of credibility.

Source Map (first half)

Thesis: (needs revising) A combination of unnecessary spending and bad investing has put our economy in a recessive and high debt situation that is not well represented by the media.

I. Introduction
1. Our government has spent our tax dollars carelessly and put us in debt
a. Comptroller General says, "were spending more than we make.... Were charging it to the credit card... and expecting our grandchildren to pay for it. And thats absolutelty outrageous.
2. Our government makes bad investments that has, economically speaking, put us in a recession.
a. Marcia clement, "In Oct. [2008] the deficit reached 455 billion dollars, up from the previous record of 413 billion in 2004....it came before the economy nose dived , prompting congress to approve a $700 billion bailout"
3. Thesis

II. The cause of debt
1. Spending
a. The government spends tax money on...........
-block quote from Government spending article
b. It is estimated that if we continue to spend money at the same rate as today that by 2010 we will be in 10 trillion dollars of debt
2. Bad investments
a. The government invests its money in many different markets such as.......
-Explain markets and how much of the debt they are responsible for
b. The debt we have with other countries doesnt have the same effect as does debt within the country. The debt outside of the country doesnt pay intrest to us rather we pay intrest to those we are in debt of.
3. Negative effects of Bailouts
a. Bailouts financially hurt us as a nation as they just inflate the dollar and raise the deficit.
- If we are in debt 2 trillion dollars how can we sign a bailout for $600 Billion

Source Map

Revised Thesis: With the introduction of the internet, education has taken a turn for the best and is now available to a more diverse amount of people.

I. Introduction
A. Imagine a world without the internet. This is how the world was twenty years ago.
B. new opportunities are opening for employees, who work at the offices in geographically
dispersed locations, such as possibility to communicate, share and collaborate in order to
achieve common business goals.
C. thesis
II. The effect of the internet on higher education
A. The announcement of the internet was translated by some education authorities to be a
signal that libraries-and even classrooms were dead. Nothing couls be further from the
truth.
B.This study suggests that both transformational and transactional leadership styles are
equally effective across communication media in teams completing short-term, problem
solving tasks. Furthermore, this research provides additional confirmation that the
communication media through which teams communicate influence certain aspects of their
interactions and cohesiveness.
III. The effect of the internet on lower education
A. The case of a legitimate classroom task turning up an unsuitable web page. This could
happen despite the best of intentions, although it is more likely to be mischievous behavior
by a student. You would immediately deal with it as you would any incident in the
classroom.
i. this introduces a topic of moral and ethical responsibility
IV. How the internet has made education available to more people
V. Conclusion
A. Education has failed to take in account of how much the world has changed during the
information technology revolution. It proceeds as though thw world is the same as before-
just more technologized.
B. The invention and popular use of micro- computers, the global communications system
enabled by satellite and fiber optic cables the transmission of television programs around
and across the world, the process of digitalization of data, the portability of communications
devices-these are all part of our present and almost bound to be part of the future in which
the effects of global communications will be felt in our everyday lives.

A framework

Intro=personal anecdote that was published online, or "its not right to have gays in the military, brings down morale and brings unwanted tension...the last thing i need is a gay by my side in iraq" (Avelli)


Thesis: Although the new media has become the primary medium for expressing ideas about social issues such as gays in the military, it is not the most effective in terms of change resulting.


Fact --
-This issue still needs background information to be understood in order to create a valid opinion about it...
"Blogs provide another vehicle for political expression. In that sense, they increase political participation. But if political participation is defined more broadly, blogs potentially fall short" (Jost 21).
-Where did it come from?

people are trying to express themselves and the Internet is the easiest place to go... quote from a blog "instead of unequivocally stating that "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is bad policy, hurts our Armed Forces, and discriminates against gays and lesbians, Gen. Jones answered that "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" will be dealt with "at the right time," and that a repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" will be teed up appropriately. *Yawn* That's not bold leadership; that's preserving the status quo" (Jones).

Definition--
-from an online source, so the rhetoric has this tone, word choice like "mere" in the following "The "don't ask" part of the policy indicates that superiors should not initiate investigation of a service member's orientation in the absence of disallowed behaviors, though mere suspicion of homosexual behavior can cause an investigation" (Wikipedia, 1)
-everything is biased!


Quality--
`this issue is serious! "The Internet has given hate groups ample reason to feel young again. In the United States, online bigots enjoy full protection under the First Amendment and have access to a potentially limitless audience. Webmasters are anonymous and difficult to silence; leaders suffer few consequences for their followers' actions. And their strategies for organizational growth are beginning to look more corporate than cross-lit" (Brown, 1)

-is it good or bad?
-?"The new internet subculture that has erupted around ‘blogging’ is particularly deserving of analysis here, as bloggers have demonstrated themselves as technoactivists favoring not only democratic self-expression and networking, but also global media critique and journalistic sociopolitical intervention " (Kahn, 91)

-bad = "Online and offline communities are often posited in opposition to each other in a zero sum game. Those taking this view warn that people are more and more seduced from their geographically placed lives to the Internet (Lockhard, 1997)--a trend they call the ‘virtualization of everyday life’ (Doheny-Farina, 1996: xiii). They argue the solitary mode of online access encourages people to focus more completely on their private interests"(Nip, 4)

-"For a sign of how seriously the White House does or doesn’t take this opposition, one adviser told me those bloggers need to take off the pajamas, get dressed, and realize that governing a closely divided country is complicated and difficult"(Newman).

Issues Paper Source Outline

Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) is a serious condition that does not receive enough attention from the community. It is an addiction of almost the same magnitude as drug abuse or alcoholism and can be just as detrimental to a person’s social and mental health.

I.       Intro

a.       Story

         “I’m ready to divorce John,” Marsha announced. I was taken aback. Marsha and John had been together for five years and had what I assumed was a stable marriage. I asked her what had gone wrong: Did John have a drinking problem? Was he having an affair? Had he been abusing her? “No,” she replied. “He’s addicted to the Internet.” Between sobs, she filled me in on the problem. Every night, he’d come home from work at 6 p.m. and head straight for the computer. No kiss hello, no help with dinner, or the dishes, or the laundry. At 10 p.m., he’d still be on-line when she’d call him to come to bed. “Be right there,” he’d say. Four or five hours later, he’d finally log off and stumble into bed. (Young 1)

b.       Thesis

II.       More than just a bad habit

a.       Internet use skyrocketing in past years

The average time users spent online grew in double digit rates in six countries between May and October this year, and even in the U.S., which ranks second in amount of time consumers spend online, the average time online grew 7.7%, according to a new report from Nielsen/NetRatings.

The largest growth in time online was registered by German and Swedish consumers, who increased their use of the web by 21.6% between May and October. Germans were online an average of 10 hours, 32 minutes online in October vs. 8 hours, 39 minutes in May. Swedes were online 8 hours, 2 minutes in October vs. 6 hours, 36 minutes in May. (InternetRetailer)

i.       But not everyone has IAD

ii.       Internet has become a necessity of communication, business, education, etc.

iii.       Not all of the increase is due to productive use

b.       Increase in number of people who suffer from IAD

i.       Story

ii.       Percentage of students with IAD

c.       At what point does it become IAD?

III.       IAD is a psychological addiction that has similar symptoms to those of alcoholism/pornography addiction/drug abuse

a.       Brief history of IAD

b.       Symptoms

i.       Fatigue

ii.       Muscular dystrophy

iii.       Depression

iv.       Anxiety

v.         Aggressive behavioc.      

C.       How similar to other addictions

         “While most people associate addiction with substances, such as drugs or alcohol, doctors recognize addictive behaviors as well. In a WebMD feature on the definition of addiction, psychiatrist Michael Bordy, MD, set forth the following criteria: 1. The person needs more and more of a substance or behavior to keep him going. 2. If the person does not get more of the substance or behavior, he becomes irritable and miserable.” (Clark)

i.         Used as an escape from stress but only strengthens the deeper issues

“Kids with depression, anger issues, or social problems also turn to the Internet as therapy, adds Gilbert, who was not involved in the study. ‘they can take on an avatar or a different identity, and can contact other kids with the same problems and social inadequacies; they don’t have to function in conventional social ways.’” (MacMillan)

ii.       Addict pulls away from social interaction

d.       How different

i.      Does not receive attention

“IAD was originally proposed as a disorder in a satirical hoax by Ivan Goldberg, M.D., in 1995. He took pathological gambling as diagnosed by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as his model for the description of IAD.” (Internet Addiction Disorder)

ii.       Not as many help groups

iii.       Almost impossible to entirely quit using the internet, so a recovery has a different definition

IV.       IAD destroys face-to-face social skills

         It was found that the more time people spend using the Internet, the more they lose contact with their social environment. Figure 1 shows that this effect is noticeable even with just 2-5 Internet hours per week; and it rises substantially for those spending more than 10 hours per week, of whom up to 15 percent report a decrease in social activities. Even more striking is the fact that Internet users spend much less time talking on the phone to friends and family: the percentage reporting a decrease exceeds 25 percent—although it is unclear to what extent this represents a shift to email even in communicating with friends and family or a technical bottleneck due to a single phone line being preempted by Internet use. (Erbring)

a.       Increased aggression

“Adolescents with aggressive behavior in the past year were more likely to have Internet addiction, use the Internet every day, use the Internet more than 20 hours/week, and participate in oline gaming, chatting, gambling, adult sex Web, and BBS. Also they were less likely to participate in online research or studying activities.” (Ko)

b.       Loneliness

c.       Lack of intimacy

d.       Fake sense of relationship

VI.         Inhibits the development of social skills in children and adolescents.

a.            Kids are more at risk

a.   “It has been hypothesized that, because adolescence and young adulthood is a time of identity and relationship exploration, those who have trouble navigating through these developmental challenges are particularly vulnerable to using the Internet as a coping mechanism. Current research does indicate that ego-identity achievement in middle school students is negatively related to pathological and extreme Internet use.” (Guan)

b.            Sense of identity blurred

VII.         IAD is a serious and very real disorder that needs more attention. The negative effects on social skills and mental health, the easy access, and especially the susceptibility of young people to the addiction make this a dangerous addiction that, if unchecked, will continue to become more and more common.

Source outline

Intro (background)
• In the 21st century, literacy is more likely to mean writing blogs and instant messages as well as skimming video and audio, along with text, to gather information.(2)
• "Checking Facebook is routine," she said. "When they first get on the computer, they check their e-mail. They log on to instant messaging. They check their Facebook."


The importance of reading
• “ Reading for pleasure correlates with academic achievement.”(6)
• “Children and teenagers who read for pleasure on a daily or weekly basis score better on reading tests than infrequent readers.”(6)
• Good readers generally have more financially rewarding jobs (6)

The doors that the internet opens- the internet is great
• Today's definition of literacy is being broadened to include "literacy skills necessary for individuals, groups, and societies to access the best information in the shortest time to identify and solve the most important problems and then communicate this information"(9)
•
21st reading patterns (leisure reading)
• “A British Survey finds that people actually believe that they are reading more. Despite competition from new media, and increasing pressure on people’s leisure time, relatively few people think they are reading less now than five years ago.”(5)
• Most (80%) claim to be reading about the same or more
• Even when reading does occur, it competes with other media. This multi-tasking suggests less focused engagement with a text.(6)
• Teens and young adults spend less time reading than people of other age groups.(6)

Reading patterns back in the day
• more time for leisure time reading(4)
• Parents spent more money on books(4)



Statistics of what people mostly spend their time doing online
Social networking-new media and time spent on that
• “The proliferation of electronic media that swallow students’ time could prevent some of them from developing valuable thinking skills fostered by fluent reading, according to some experts(2)”
• Percentage of time spent reading while using other media 35%
• when we are online we tend to spend more time on sites that are worthy of our attention. (17)


The consequences on homework, learning and reading
• “Some Researchers support the concern that online reading encourages quick, surface skimming over sustained concentration of learning.”(2)

The positive things or tools that you gain because of social networking and new media
• “Computers enable opportunities for adolescents to develop literacy skills through collaborative work and social interactions with each other.(7)”
• “Computer-based communication, such as email or chat room, places expectations on participants to respond in written formats to convey meaning accurately and effectively(7)”
• “Adolescents participation in these online activities develops communication skills and literacy skills that may not always be recognized in more formal educational settings.”

However, statistics of reading scores, because of networking and other new media tools
• Teenagers percentage of reading time has decreased the greatest and it is believed to be directly connected with new media and time spent online.(4)
•
Future of books
• They will more likely to be in a digital form rather than a printed form.(1)

Thesis: New media has given society new tools and innovations, but because of them, people have begun to change their reading patterns.

Revised Thesis and Outline!

Thesis: Despite the apparent loss of revenue generated from movies due to piracy and illegal downloading, the benefits of new media on Hollywood outweigh the costs.

1. What most people know
a. The Film Industry has suffered from the Internet
b. Box-office success has gone done – Statistics (Smith, Michael)
c. Movies can be viewed online now
Hulu is the second-most viewed video site (to YouTube)
d. Piracy and illegal downloading has been a huge issue for a couple years now, and it still hasn’t really gone away. (Wray)


2. Hollywood would be wise to take more advantage of the internet and the file sharing it offers
a. There are long term benefits to shifting the market from out of theater movie purchasing from DVD’s to the internet
b. Netflix is one example of success of viewing films through a new medium
(Currah)

3. Critics
a. The Internet brings everyone together
As a result communication goes up
Peer reviews become more relevant
b. Sites such as Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic has become the focus of film criticism
Rotten Tomatos even works in conjunction with Twitter for movie reviews. (Cieply)

4. Marketing
a. The Internet has revolutionized advertising
Facebook, Hulu, Twitter

- Twitter has shown some correlation between twitter activity and box office success (Hampp)
- Although one might argue that online feedback is more reflective on the quality of the movie rather than influential, that is most likely not the case.
- In fact, Twitter activity was used by some firms to predict opening weekend movie sales. (Hampp)

b. Hulu has become one of the most visited sites on the net
Provides a bunch of movies and trailers to every upcoming film

c. The producers of Paranormal Activity launched a web campaign to get people interested in the movie (Labrecque)
It worked! (Warren)
5. Conclusion
Hollywood is already adapting to find new ways to take advantage of the Internet (Wood, Laura)
The Internet is not a hinderance to Hollywood, it can be utilized to make the industry even stronger.







BTW did anyone watch V for Vendetta yesterday? It was the Fifth of November, after all. And if you did, what did you think of the bald Natalie Portman? I think she might even look more appealing bald. Idk. If you look good bald, you'll look good no matter what. I think that should be like a true test of beauty. I keep telling every girl this but they still aren't willing to test it out.

Outline and Sources

So my internet got REALLY slow all of a sudden and it isn't as finished as I would like. But it is late and I can't fix my internet, so bear with me. The formating is weird on mine, too, so I apologise to whoever reads this.

Thesis: Media censorship as been an issue for hundreds of years; now new media censorship is stepping into the spotlight. Ultimately, however, the responsibility of new media censorship rests on the shoulders of each individual—not on the government.

I. Introduction
A. Censorship in traditional media
1. historical background-context of issue
- Belsie , Laurent . "The Dark Side of Cyberspace."
-history up to 1994
- Communications Textbook (not in bibliography)
2. need more information
3. Clark, Charles S. "Regulating the Internet."
B. Thesis
II. Types of regulation considered in regards to new media censorship
A. Restrict the “advertising” of the site
-physical layer
B. remove objectionable content directly from the hosting ISP so that it is not “in cyberspace” anymore
-content layer
C. arrange filtering or zoning of content
-seems the most logical
-application or logical layer
- Harris, Candida, Judith Rowbotham, and Kim Stevenson. "Truth, Law and Hate in the Virtual Marketplace of Ideas: Perspectives on the Regulation of Internet Content."
D. destroy the wires connecting to the Internet
-not entirely reasonable to American minds, but practiced in other cultures.
-physical layer
E. Timofeeva, Yulia. Censorship in Cyberspace : New Regulatory Strategies in the Digital Age on the Example of Freedom of Expression.
F. Does the government punish the viewer or creator?
G. 1996 Telecommunications Reform Act
- McCabe. "Users' Perceptions of Internet Regulation - An Exploratory Study."
III. Would regulation work?
A. “That it is hard to censor the internet does not mean we should not seek to do so” (Butt)
B. “Even allowing for the extreme problems surrounding freedom of speech, internet censorship would be more or less impossible. Governments can attempt to regulate what is produced in their own country but it would be impossible to regulate material from abroad.” (Butt)
C. Butt, Matt. "Internet Censorship:Pros and Cons."
IV. If not the government, who?
A. Why not government?
- Landier, Michael . "Internet Censorship is Absurd and Unconstitutional."
-phone company analogy
B. Individual web sites and groups
- Chua, Cecil Eng Huang. "Why Do Virtual Communities Regulate Speech?."
C. Companies
D. Search Engines
E. Internet providers
- “Internet Service Providers are certainly the wrong people to decide what can and can not be placed on the internet.” (Butt)
F. Dann, Gary Elijah, and Neil Haddow. "Just Doing Business or Doing Just Business: Google, Microsoft, Yahoo! and the Business of Censoring China’s Internet ."
V. Conclusion
A. People have many different opinions on why or why not the Internet should be regulated. However, from a purely practical standpoint, there is no institution that can properly regulate the internet. This is a job for the “every day Joe”—to regulate his own internet.

Re-thinking My Issues Paper Topic

Upon writing an outline for my previously chosen topic, I found I was writing more of a research paper rather than an argument based on research. This being said, I have decided to take a new route and when I have the sources and outline figured out, I will post it on this blog.

Source Map

Thesis: High School students can become successful writers with the use of new media.

Source Map:

1. Counterpoint: Many people look back at their English classes from high school with fear and dislike, because of the way teachers asked them to write about topics they weren't interested in and write in a way that was difficult for them.

*"Ask an English teacher, and they’ll tell you good writing is grammatically correct. They’ll tell you it makes a point and supports it with evidence. Maybe, if they’re really honest, they’ll admit it has a scholarly tone — prose that sounds like Jane Austen earns an A, while a paper that could’ve been written by Willie Nelson scores a B (or worse)." (copyblogger.com)

*Effects texting has on grammar. (netlingo)

A. Point: While writing academically does have benefits, more and more teachers are incorporating new media to help their students enjoy the writing process. This is allowing students to write about what they want to write about, but still go through the growth and learning process of writing.

*Alvermann

*"Public schools typically place heavy restrictions on the use of the Internet. Social networking sites such as MySpace, Facebook, and YouTube are often blocked in libraries and computer

labs. The result is a failure to build a bridge between the technological world Millennials live in and the classrooms we expect them to learn in. Such restrictions are almost always justified by claiming that they are intended to protect students. Such protection, however well-intentioned, actually fails to prepare young people by not providing the adult supervision and guidance that many of them would benefit from during their online encounters. If there is a crisis in today's schools, it probably has more to do with students' perceptions that school is boring and largely irrelevant to preparation for life outside school." (Considine, 473)

2. Counterpoint: Students spend too much of their time with social networking and not enough time focusing on their studies.

*Study showing the time spent teenagers are using some form of new media. (Bower)

*Study showing the time spent on the internet. (DiMaggio)

*"There are changes in how parents nag. In what they nag about. In frequency. Parents know more about flubbed tests and skipped homework because of online grading systems. They know more about social lives because of Facebook and MySpace pages.

"The fact that you have more nagging options is what's good about it--The plethora of nagging options," says Martha McGrath." (St. George, 1)

"Reginald Black, 46, a Woodbridge father of three sons, checks online grade reports every morning during this school year. "That's the first thing I do when I turn he computer on," he says. "Some days it can make you feel good. Some days it can wreck your whole day." (St. George, 2)

A. Point: The internet, specifically social networking, can improve students ability to express themselves through writing.

*"Give a middle school child from a low-income house-hold a home computer with free Internet access and watch that child become a better reader. That's the conclusion of a new study that highlights potential academic consequences ofthe so-called digital divide separating poor kids from their better-off peers.

A team led by psychologist Linda A. Jackson of Michigan State University in East Lansing gave computers, Internet access, and in-home technical support to 140 children. The mostly 12-to-14-year-old, African-American boys and girls lived in single-parent families with incomes no higher than $15,000 a year. The

researchers recorded each child's Internet use from December 2000 through June 2002.

Before entering the study, these children generally did poorly in school and on academic-achievement tests. However, overall grades and reading achievement scores-but not math-achievement scores-began to climb after 6 months of home Internet use. These measures had ascended farther by the end ofthe study,

especially among the kids who spent the most time online." (Bower, 377)

3. Counterpoint: The ability to access so much on the internet allows teenagers to plagiarize and cheat their way through school.

*"The Internet is a vast, rapidly growing network of over a billion electronic pages that are fully accessible to our students. It is an incredible resource for young, bright minds. However, not all aspects of this resource are positive. One of the primary concerns facing teachers is that millions of computer-savvy students find it easy to use this massive library of information to plagiarize material, to use someone else's intellectual property as their own without citations or credit. High school students need to understand the ethics of paper writing.

At our last count, there were about 200 "cheat sites" with names like School Sucks and Evil House of Cheat. Each month 2.6 million students access these sites. These 200 sites list tens of thousands of free and purchased papers that students with computers hooked to the Internet can download in seconds, reformat, then turn in as their own work." (Owen, 1)

*Testimonials from current high school students.

A. Point: Students will find ways to cheat regardless and the use of new media allows children the opportunity to learn things they normally wouldn't have the chance to learn.

*"Even as globalization has fed worries about whether U.S. students can keep up with the rest of the world, it also has spawned classroom connections across oceans. Teachers, driven by a desire to help students navigate a world made smaller by e-mail, wikis and teleconferences, say lessons once pulled mainly from textbooks can come to life through real-world interactions." (Glod, 1)

*Testimonials of students learning through new media and connecting with students worldwide. (Glod)

Conclusion: Even with the added dilemmas new media brings to a students education, with the added support from parents and teachers new media can and is making American students better writers.

Source Map

I had no idea how to format this outline on the blog! :( Sorry for how jumbled it is!


Outline: Dangers of Internet-based Health Searches
I. Introduction:
A. When, how it started
1. rise of new media and the “internet age”
-“The World Wide Web was developed in 1989 by English computer scientist Timothy Berners-Lee for the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN).” (Ament, Phil)
-“According to the Pew Research Center (2001), approximately 104 million American adults have access to the Internet.” (Eastin, Matthew S)
B. Along with advancements came consequences.
1. Increased availability of various forms of media (soundbites, videos, visuals), but also increased circulation of pornography
2. Expansion of communications, but also opened new avenues for the exchange of information between criminals that aren’t as noticeable or easily tracked
3. Much like these, the beginnings of online health information provided significant benefits, but has also proven to account for many overlooked consequences.
C. New demand for health information on the internet—stats
1. High cost and low availability of professional health care information
-“One of the primary uses of the Internet by consumers is to obtain information about health and health care.” (Bundorf, M) This is driven by the high cost and overall low availability of health care.
2. Seven percent of health seekers, or about 8 million American adults, searched for information on at least one health topic on a typical day in August 2006. This places health searches at about the same level of popularity on a typical day as paying bills online, reading blogs, or using the internet to look up a phone number or address. (Fox, Susannah)
3.
D. The use of internet-based medical information and services has attributed to a rise in the misinformation of consumers, altered the patient-physician relationship, and negatively impacted clinical business due to its ease of accessibility and common lack of credibility.
I. Misinformation of Consumers
A. Greatest problems with online health information—inaccuracy
1. Disparity between clinical and online information
-“Research indicates that medical professionals do not author an extensive amount of health information available on the Internet. This creates a possibility for false information, thereby potentially leading ill people away from proper care.” (Eastin, Matthew S)
-“the Internet's free and unregulated flow of information and information providers creates many possible hazards to those who seek and trust online information. In many instances those accessing information are unaware of: (1) who authored the material, (2) when the information was last updated, and (3)whether the information is accurate.” (Eastin, Matthew S)
-In 2006, about 113 million American adults used the Internet to find health information (Pew Internet & American Life Project, 2006). More than any other source, the Internet provides instant access to tremendous amounts of health-related information that may affect "personal perceptions of health and illness, patients’ compliance to treatment protocols and ultimately, overall health" (Taha, Jessica, and Joseph Sharit)
-“There is an increasing concern, for instance, that some health information disseminated via the internet is “inaccurate, erroneous, misleading, or fraudulent and actually poses a threat to public health in general” (Weaver, James B)
-Three-quarters of health seekers do not consistently check the source and date of the health information they find online. Just 15% of health seekers say they “always” check the source and date of the health information they find online, while another 10% say they do so “most of the time.” Fully three-quarters of health seekers say they check the source and date “only sometimes,” “hardly ever,” or “never,” which translates to about 85 million Americans gathering health advice online without consistently examining the quality indicators of the information they find. (Fox, Susannah)


B. Conflicting Sources à find specific examples
C. Leads to:
1. Mistreatment of illness or ailment
2. Wasted money on products or medicines that won’t help, and sometimes will make consumer’s problem worse
3. Hesitancy to accept a physician’s diagnosis and method of treatment.
-“emerging evidence that a significant proportion of internet health information consumers are self-diagnosing health conditions, seeking information about alternative treatments or medicine, and engaging healthcare strategies inconsistent with medical recommendations.” (Weaver, James B)

II. Patient/Physician Relationship
A. Misinformation leads to greater gap between patient and health professionals
1. Mistrust
-“Methods: An observational study was carried out of office visits by 732 patients of 45 physicians (16 family physicians, 18 general internists and 11 cardiologists), within two managed care settings. Participants were consecutive, English-speaking patients, age 18 and older who had a significant health concern. Visit questionnaires were completed by 68% of patients known to be eligible. Post-visit measures included services requested (information, examination, prescription, test or referral); services provided; and requested or needed services not provided during the visit. Measures at 2-week follow-up included patient satisfaction, intended adherence to advice, interval contacts with the health system and symptom improvement.
-Results: After adjustment for patient and physician characteristics, patient trust in the physician was not associated with the likelihood that a service was requested or provided during the visit, with the exception that prescription of a new medication was more frequent among patients with higher trust. In contrast, patients with low trust prior to the visit consistently were more likely to report that a needed or requested service was not provided (P < 0.001 for all services).
-Requests for services (and their fulfilment or lack of fulfilment) occur in the context of the doctor–patient relationship and, in turn, play an important role in defining the quality of the relationship. From the patient’s view, whether or not they receive the services they request or feel they need often defines the success of the visit.” (Thom, DH)
-low trust might prompt patients to make requests because they do not trust the doctor to provide what they need, while patients with high levels of trust might feel more comfortable asking for what they want. (Thom, DH)
2. Failure to Comply with Treatment (12,
-Patients with a low level of trust were less satisfied with their care (Thom, DH)
3. Disadvantages the patientà easier to take advantage of (4)
a. Of the consumers surveyed:
25% say they felt overwhelmed by the amount of information they found online.
22% say they felt frustrated by a lack of information or an inability to find what they were looking for online.
18% say they felt confused by the information they found online.
10% say they felt frightened by the serious or graphic nature of the information they found online. (Fox, Susannah)
b. This confusion, frustration, and fear can increase a patients ignorance of their own condition, heightening the doctor’s ability to take advantage of just how much they don’t know. This may lead to spending large amounts of money on harmless but unnecessary treatments or multiple, unneeded doctor’s visits because questions weren’t asked or answered the first time around.
B. Because patients mistrust professional help...
1. -“Consumers may forego contacts with physicians in response to the availability of information from alternative sources depending on the caule they place on these alternative sources. (Bundorf, M)
2. Because there is a significant asymmetry in the knowledge-base of patients and physicians, patients often look for information “…to evaluate the quality of either the information or the services they receiver from a physician…” (Bundorf, M) The problem with this is that the online sources they consult often contain flawed instruction, which creates distrust between patient and health professional.
C.
III. Negative Impacts to Clinical Business
A. Because information is provided without charge on the internet, those who seek it most (those with low income and poor health) (9), who also happen to be those who provide clinical businesses with the most income, will go to the internet rather than a professional source.
1. -“the challenges users face in acquiring and using information are a defining feature of health care markets.”
2. -“…the distribution of free health information increased demand for self-care resources and reduced the demand for information from health professionals.”
3. - “…the availability of health information on the Internet may have major implications for consumer behavior and market efficiency.”
4. -“…consistent with the underlying economic theory of demand for information, those who potentially benefit the most from health information and those who face higher costs of obtaining information from other sources are more likely to turn to the Internet as a source of health information.”
5. - “…traditionally physicians and health care professionals have been the primary source for consumers. Physicians have superior information about the production of health due to both their extensive training and their experience in treating patients. Because health production is highly customized based on the characteristics of individual patients, both sources of information create a gap between physicians and patients in their ability to obtain, understand, and make recommendations based on heath information. This asymmetry in information between physicians and consumers creates a market for health information from physicians.” (Bundorf, M)à online health information takes this market away! They can no longer market the skills and information they have obtained because of its costless availability online.
B. The Former two arguments contribute to this loss of business
1. Misinformation – more likely to drive patients away from clinical visits because the information they find from online sources differs from what they hear from a health professional (4)
-consumers fall into a false sense of security, thinking that they don’t need clinical advice and that the Internet can give them everything they need.
2. Patient/Physician Relationships
-mistrust of physicians will discourage doctor’s visits
-also discourage adherence to a doctor’s counsel, which means that a patient will be less likely to pay the health provider for the prescribed treatment (4)
IV. Conclusion
A. The use of online medical information needs to be heavily discouraged and perhaps even prohibited.
1. Internet-based health information may have its uses, and is not always detrimental to the consumer, but its negative consequences are too great
2. Misdiagnosis due to misinformation
3. Takes away business from the professionals, who ironically have the most valuable knowledge

Thesis and Source Map

Part I:
Thesis: In today's world, file sharing and the digital downloading of music via the Internet is rapidly growing and becoming more widely accepted. According to some, this practice weakens the record industries and breaks copyright laws because these downloads are free and able to be shared among different Internet users. However, file sharing should be acceptable because of its undeniable popularity and extreme convenience.

Part II:
Source Map:

I. Background Information on File Sharing and Record Industries
A) how file sharing networks operate and how they are organized (Ripeanu, Matei)
B) history of record industries, their properties, goals, laws, etc (Hurst, Walter E.)
C) record industries and their struggles during lawsuits (Cooper, Charles)

II. Background Information on Copyright Laws
A) copyright infringement and file sharing (Sharma, Amol)
B) actual judicial reference on the penalties of copyright inringement (United States.Congress)

III. File Sharing Users' Views
A) justifications of participating in downloading free music (MarkJ)
B) how file sharing users' behavior impacts CD sales (Grossman, Lev)
C) how file sharing users affect record companies (news.bbc.co.uk)

IV. Issue of File Sharing in Conjunction with CD Sales
A) how record companies can fight against rampant online downloading (Greenblatt, Alan)
B) ratio of people who download free music vs. those who buy CDs (Oberholzer, Felix)
1. Give reference to statistics behind this issue

V. Illegality of Certain File Sharing and Online Piracy
A) lagging efforts to stop popular online piracy (Alan, Smith D.)
B) government intervention to help stop online piracy (Sandoval, Greg)

VII. Legal File Sharing
A) how file sharing networks can refrain from copyright infringement (Von Lohmann, Fred)
1. purchasing music via the Internet (i.e: iTunes)

VIII. Conclusion
A) future of the record industry (Greenblatt, Alan)
B) population of those who participate in file sharing-growing or decreasing?
C) whether or not the government can stop illegal file sharing
D) whether or not to allow for downloading free music or not

Issues Paper

Stem cell research, both adult and embryonic, has more potential benefits outweighing the controversies it faces.

new media:
Provides easy ways to explore and learn about the world of science.
-Wikipedia: the idea in general
Learning basic facts vs. learning in depth.
-"Development of Online... Example From China"
-comparison[scrip]
stem cells:
The basic facts.
-Stem Cells [Langwith]
-"Stem Cell Basics"
-What stem cells are
-Types of stem cells
-The process
The risks, the problems.
The controversy.
-"The Great Debate.."
-The Human Embyonic Stem Cell Debate...
-embyonic stem cells
-the question of when human life begins
How the controversies are not all that controversial when you look at it in perspective.
new media:
Effectiveness in learning, good or bad?
-"Teaching and Learning Resources From Federal Agencies"
-How new media is helpful to learning the basics, which is preparation for understanding the concept fully and in-depth.
-Preparation to "join the conversation"
stem cells:
Application
-Stem Cells [Wobus]

Issue Paper - Texting

Thesis: Texting has both positive and negatives effects on the individual, their relationships, and society as a whole; therefore it must be carefully balanced to ensure quality of being.

Outline:

1. Intro: Texting has both positive and negative effects on the individual, their relationships, and society.

2. The individual

a. Positive – Hand-eye coordination, ability to be brief and efficient in communication, increases self confidence

i. Generation Text: Teens' IM Lingo Evolving into a Hybrid Language "They are altering language to suit the technology," said David Silver, a University of Washington professor of communication who studies new media. Teens have also incorporated IM the same as teens have always used slang, as a way to separate themselves as a group, he said."

ii. Cell Phone Use in Social Settings: Preliminary Results from a Study in the United States and France "mobile phones allow individuals to maintain connectedness and expand the scope of their activities beyond what was achievable without the technology."

iii. Generation Text: Teens' IM Lingo Evolving into a Hybrid Language "Boys find they can chat with girls without blushing"

b. Negative – more difficult ability to spell, decreased linguistic ability, decreased ability to talk with someone face to face, wasting time, addiction to phone, decreases self confidence

i. Communication Technology and their Influence on Language: Reshuffling Tenses in Croatian SMS Text Messaging "One of the considerations one has to keep in mind constantly when dealing with SMS text messages are the limitations that this communication technology imposes on linguistic and communicative possibilities."

3. Relationships

a. Positive – Convenient! Easy access to information, getting help if needed, just talking to someone, quick and efficient way to communicate, keep in contact with family and friends, addressing a tough situation in an informal method,

i. Text Appeal: The Psychology of SMS Texting and its IMplications for the Design of the Mobile Phone Interfaces "For some, this provides greater freedom of self-expression, and leads to online relationships that are stronger and more enduring than those in the real world (Parks and Floyd, 1996)."

ii. Generation Text: Teens' IM Lingo Evolving into a Hybrid Language "She sends instant messages every day and also checks them on her cell phone. She chats with friends from summer camp who live in other cities and even taught her 70-year-old grandmother in Olympia, Wash., how to IM. Often she talks with kids from school that she doesn't see in class, friends of friends she wouldn't call on the phone."

b. Negative – Disapproval of texting from elderly people, rude to text if you’re with other people, awkward in person if only source of communication is through text, unable to distinguish real emotion, bullying, not getting to know the real person, disconnection between teens and adults.

i. Generation Text: Teens' IM Lingo Evolving into a Hybrid Language "Also, at some point IM can become a social crutch. "Teens need to learn to relate one-on-one while speaking in full sentences in English," Kastner said. "Looking someone in the eye while talking about feelings is a necessary skill. IM can produce a false intimacy that teens don't know how to re-create in real life."

ii. Generation Text: Teens' IM Lingo Evolving into a Hybrid Language "For teens, instant messaging is a real-time way to chat with several friends via the computer (or mobile phone, in some cases) in a shorthand, abbreviated language that puzzles most adults.

4. Society

a. Positive – increased marketing (this could also be a negative), easy way to communicate to a lot of people in a short amount of time, new method of communication known to everyone

i. Article: Use of SMS Text Messaging to Improve Outpatient Attendance "Of the 2276 patients with a sched- uled outpatient appointment in August 2004, 1482 (65.1%) gave a mobile tele- phone contact number; of these, 1135 attended the appointment (FTA rate, 23.4%)."

ii. Generation Txt? The Sociolinguistics of Young People's Text-Messaging "While adult exaggerations about the significance of technology in the lives of young people may be questionable, the fact remains that, in many countries, the mobile phone is an altogether far more popular, pervasive communication technology than in others (Katz & Aakhus, 2002a)."

b. Negative – increased marketing, increased automobile accidents, unable to pay attention to real live events including paying attention to one person at a time, focusing on school, church, work, etc.

i. Driving While Distracted "A 2007 Harris Interactive poll found that 91 percent of Americans think that driving while texting is as dangerous as drunk driving, and 89 percent of Americans support prohibitions on driving while texting."

ii. Students Crave a Break on Cellphone Ban "At Albert Einstein High School in Kensington, employees confiscate eight to 10 cellphones a week, said Jim Fernandez, the principal. Serious transgressions, such as using cellphones to cheat during tests or forwarding sexually explicit photos, have not been reported.

5. Conclusion: Readers can now make their own educated opinion about what they think of texting.